I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
