i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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