who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
