Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
