But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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