Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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