soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
