Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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