Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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