The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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