it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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