I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I look better un-naked...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
