bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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