Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
