So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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