I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
