if i can run in heels then i can drive
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Randomize
