how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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