even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
