also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
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All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
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Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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