Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
