i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
