4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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