ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
