clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
