I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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