Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
