I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
