Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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