I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My bed smells like the plague
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