just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
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Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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