its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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