Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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