you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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