I must be too annoying 4 u.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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