Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
