kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When did angry sex become our thing?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
