the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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