You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
