we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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