my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He kissed a someone with a penis
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
