Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
