i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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