its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
