I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
