im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
