Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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