how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize