no, he came in my armpit
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I party with great urgency now.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
