Moan for me like Helen Keller
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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