Moan for me like Helen Keller
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think people are normalizing furries
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
