Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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