saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
