oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
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can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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