The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Found your dick twin last night
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
