they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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