I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
