is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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