I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
