Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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