I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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