All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
