you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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