My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
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we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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