I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
