After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
