She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
