I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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