i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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